*pushes the door open to peek through*
Hi guys! Wow, it's been a crazy year full of highs and lows. I struggled a lot this year with motivation, which is why you haven't heard from me in a while. I'm working on getting things going again, trying to be more productive. I came to the conclusion that when I'm sitting around watching a movie or something, I'm not just not doing anything. I'm still *doing* something: nothing.
While it feels good to relax, it should be balanced into your schedule. Especially if you're like me where one lazy day makes it easier and easier for the next day to be lazy, and it gets harder and harder to break the habit of being lazy. At the end of the day, I'm left with the feeling of being unproductive and a little disappointed in myself.
So, will I choose to get up (or sit down at my computer, as the case may be) and do *something*? Or will I choose today to continue to *do* nothing (let's face it, doing nothing is still a choice we make)?
I'm choosing to make better use of my time, to balance it better, and actually get things done.
It's been almost a year, but I wrote a new Inspired Thoughts blog post. I will continue to write them, as well as short inspirational stories for the story blog.
I did get my ministry named this year: Radiant Reflections Productions. The next step is figuring out all the licenses I need and of course, how to get some funding. A little progress was made on the project, though, and that's good for now.
As for my book, unfortunately, not much progress was made there. It will happen, though. Soon. I promise.
Anyways, just wanted to give you all an update for everything that's going on. I'm going to go spend some time with God in prayer and His Word. Hopefully you all will do the same.
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Friday, August 26, 2016
I am a child of God
I am a child of God! I don't have to be a slave to the things of this world (Galatians 4:7), but too often, I let the negative things get me down. They control my thoughts and actions. It's like I become a slave to them.
Up until a few weeks ago, I saw this problem as something I just needed to learn to work on, to think more positive thoughts, that the stress and fear were just a matter of mind over matter and I needed to learn how to control them... but a few weeks ago, my pastor preached a sermon on being filled with the Spirit that completely changed my perspective. I asked myself the question, how can I be listening to the Spirit if I'm listening to the fear? Suddenly, I knew I was having trouble getting rid of the stress and fear because I was just trying to get rid of it. But getting rid of it wasn't enough, because all that would do was leave a void that would allow the stress to come back and fill the void whenever the situation presented itself.
No, getting rid of it wasn't enough. I needed to replace it. Instead of letting the stress control my thoughts, decisions, and actions (basically, my life), I needed to let the Holy Spirit control my life (something I thought I was doing, but not as persistently as I should have been). I needed to let the Spirit produce the joy and peace that I was lacking (well, I wasn't letting it produce any of the spiritual fruits, but joy and peace, to me, are the opposite of stress and fear).
Listening to the Spirit more consistently is definitely a journey. One of the things I discovered on this journey was that I was still having trouble with stress. Sure, I knew how to get rid of it, but I found that if I wasn't constantly filling myself with the Spirit, constantly asking the Spirit to guide every thought, every aspect of my life, then in those moments that I forgot or got carried away with what I was doing, that left room for the stress to creep back in.
I started seeing the stress and fear as a monster, constantly lurking around the corner of my mind, peeking in, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. I became afraid of it.
"Will it leave me alone tonight?"
"Will it let me do this job without worrying later whether I did it right?"
"I know if I do ______, I'm gonna regret it because I'm gonna be worrying about it later."
Suddenly, just the anticipation of fear, worry, and self-doubt was causing stress. Yesterday, I made the decision that this battle is done.
I'm done being afraid of the fear. I'm done letting the thought of fear cause me stress. I'm done running from this. I'm done pushing it aside. I'm done listening to it and then saying, "What am I doing? Spirit, lead me, guide my thoughts..." (I'm still letting the Spirit lead me and guide my thoughts, but what I'm saying is that I'm not even going to give the fear the chance to sneak in).
This battle is done because I'm not going to push the stress/fear aside anymore... I'm going to get rid of it. Well, -I'm- not, but the power of the Holy Spirit is.
Galatians 4:7 tells me that I am no longer a slave, but a child of God. I am no longer a slave. I am no longer a slave... this fear has no right to control me... I AM NO LONGER A SLAVE!! Why? Because I AM A CHILD OF GOD!! My Daddy will protect me, and He will (already has) free me from that stress-induced mindset... all I have to do is trust Him to.
Up until a few weeks ago, I saw this problem as something I just needed to learn to work on, to think more positive thoughts, that the stress and fear were just a matter of mind over matter and I needed to learn how to control them... but a few weeks ago, my pastor preached a sermon on being filled with the Spirit that completely changed my perspective. I asked myself the question, how can I be listening to the Spirit if I'm listening to the fear? Suddenly, I knew I was having trouble getting rid of the stress and fear because I was just trying to get rid of it. But getting rid of it wasn't enough, because all that would do was leave a void that would allow the stress to come back and fill the void whenever the situation presented itself.
No, getting rid of it wasn't enough. I needed to replace it. Instead of letting the stress control my thoughts, decisions, and actions (basically, my life), I needed to let the Holy Spirit control my life (something I thought I was doing, but not as persistently as I should have been). I needed to let the Spirit produce the joy and peace that I was lacking (well, I wasn't letting it produce any of the spiritual fruits, but joy and peace, to me, are the opposite of stress and fear).
Listening to the Spirit more consistently is definitely a journey. One of the things I discovered on this journey was that I was still having trouble with stress. Sure, I knew how to get rid of it, but I found that if I wasn't constantly filling myself with the Spirit, constantly asking the Spirit to guide every thought, every aspect of my life, then in those moments that I forgot or got carried away with what I was doing, that left room for the stress to creep back in.
I started seeing the stress and fear as a monster, constantly lurking around the corner of my mind, peeking in, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. I became afraid of it.
"Will it leave me alone tonight?"
"Will it let me do this job without worrying later whether I did it right?"
"I know if I do ______, I'm gonna regret it because I'm gonna be worrying about it later."
Suddenly, just the anticipation of fear, worry, and self-doubt was causing stress. Yesterday, I made the decision that this battle is done.
I'm done being afraid of the fear. I'm done letting the thought of fear cause me stress. I'm done running from this. I'm done pushing it aside. I'm done listening to it and then saying, "What am I doing? Spirit, lead me, guide my thoughts..." (I'm still letting the Spirit lead me and guide my thoughts, but what I'm saying is that I'm not even going to give the fear the chance to sneak in).
This battle is done because I'm not going to push the stress/fear aside anymore... I'm going to get rid of it. Well, -I'm- not, but the power of the Holy Spirit is.
Galatians 4:7 tells me that I am no longer a slave, but a child of God. I am no longer a slave. I am no longer a slave... this fear has no right to control me... I AM NO LONGER A SLAVE!! Why? Because I AM A CHILD OF GOD!! My Daddy will protect me, and He will (already has) free me from that stress-induced mindset... all I have to do is trust Him to.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Dusting off the desk
*peeks around the corner*
Hi everyone! Wow, it's been a few months. I'd love to say I haven't been around because I've been so busy with all my plans, but that wouldn't exactly be the truth. I'll admit, some of my old procrastinator habits have been hard at work lately. On the bright side, though, I'm back to working on it.
For a whole week (*eye roll* I know, a whole week, right?) I've been really trying to stay busy doing things that are worthwhile in the long run. I've gotten up every day (yes, every morning) early so I can do my devotions and start my day off with God. I've worked a little bit on editing my novel. I wrote a blog post (which I haven't done in forever).
I've even allowed myself to be humbled at work. That brings to mind a question, though... why, when we go to work, do we often leave God at home? I mean, He's always with us, but we don't always acknowledge His presence at work. I do try, but sometimes, if a situation is getting me flustered or something, it's like I tell God, "Stay in the corner, I'll handle this one." I end up screwing things up and feeling like such a terrible representation of Christ. This is something I'm working on, but seriously . . . Why is it so easy to do that at work? Yes, this is an actual question. I'm seriously asking. I really want to know your opinions.
Well, I know we're not there yet, but I feel like 2016 is going to be a big year for me. Like, really, super big! Why? You'll have to wait and see . . . okay, okay, I feel like this is the year for my ministry to get started. Which means, first, my book is going to be published, which means . . . I should probably finish it. Then . . . well, one step at a time. I'm determined to stay on task from now on and if/when exciting things happen, I'll be sure to keep you updated.
((PS - If you've read my most recent posts, you might have noticed I was trying to have a professional tone with this blog, and this post was, well, not so much. Well, this one, this is how I think. This one is me, and I'm learning (love my fourth day group!!) that being me is not so bad. So, the tone of this blog is changing and when I post something, it's just gonna be me, plain and simple, no professional expectations.))
Hi everyone! Wow, it's been a few months. I'd love to say I haven't been around because I've been so busy with all my plans, but that wouldn't exactly be the truth. I'll admit, some of my old procrastinator habits have been hard at work lately. On the bright side, though, I'm back to working on it.
For a whole week (*eye roll* I know, a whole week, right?) I've been really trying to stay busy doing things that are worthwhile in the long run. I've gotten up every day (yes, every morning) early so I can do my devotions and start my day off with God. I've worked a little bit on editing my novel. I wrote a blog post (which I haven't done in forever).
I've even allowed myself to be humbled at work. That brings to mind a question, though... why, when we go to work, do we often leave God at home? I mean, He's always with us, but we don't always acknowledge His presence at work. I do try, but sometimes, if a situation is getting me flustered or something, it's like I tell God, "Stay in the corner, I'll handle this one." I end up screwing things up and feeling like such a terrible representation of Christ. This is something I'm working on, but seriously . . . Why is it so easy to do that at work? Yes, this is an actual question. I'm seriously asking. I really want to know your opinions.
Well, I know we're not there yet, but I feel like 2016 is going to be a big year for me. Like, really, super big! Why? You'll have to wait and see . . . okay, okay, I feel like this is the year for my ministry to get started. Which means, first, my book is going to be published, which means . . . I should probably finish it. Then . . . well, one step at a time. I'm determined to stay on task from now on and if/when exciting things happen, I'll be sure to keep you updated.
((PS - If you've read my most recent posts, you might have noticed I was trying to have a professional tone with this blog, and this post was, well, not so much. Well, this one, this is how I think. This one is me, and I'm learning (love my fourth day group!!) that being me is not so bad. So, the tone of this blog is changing and when I post something, it's just gonna be me, plain and simple, no professional expectations.))
Monday, August 17, 2015
Getting back up
Let me be the first to admit, I've been slacking off the past few weeks. For about a week and a half, I jumped right into the idea of not procrastinating anymore, of staying busy and actually getting things done rather than to continue to talk about getting things done. Well, after that time of one and a half to two weeks, I thought, 'Wow, this is a lot of work," and took a break. That break put me back into my old habits. The break started with one day, then a weekend, then a week, and so on. I decided I will NOT let it become a regular habit again. I enjoyed feeling productive while I worked on those projects, and I WILL jump right back in.
This morning, I got up when the first alarm went off. I've gotten back into the habit of hitting the snooze button a few times until it turns off, then letting God wake me up about an hour later. Thankfully, He's always gotten me up with just enough time to do what I need to before going off to work. However, when that happens, there's rarely enough time for relaxing with coffee and quiet time with God. At first, I would get upset; I couldn't imagine why God wouldn't wake me with enough time for that. Then, I realized, time with God is a choice. If I wanted that time with Him, I was going to have to make the effort to get up when the alarm went off and show Him that I was serious about wanting that time with Him. So, this morning, I got up when the alarm went off - I didn't even hit the snooze button once!
Great start for the week! Tonight, I wrote an Inspired Thoughts post, which has suffered since I've gone back to my procrastination habits.
Tomorrow, I will make some requested updates to the Fearless website.
Wednesday, I will attempt to work on the Fellowship website.
Thursday, I will do some editing on my book and possibly work on a Fearless project.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled with all of this, but now I am getting back up and back into it all!
This morning, I got up when the first alarm went off. I've gotten back into the habit of hitting the snooze button a few times until it turns off, then letting God wake me up about an hour later. Thankfully, He's always gotten me up with just enough time to do what I need to before going off to work. However, when that happens, there's rarely enough time for relaxing with coffee and quiet time with God. At first, I would get upset; I couldn't imagine why God wouldn't wake me with enough time for that. Then, I realized, time with God is a choice. If I wanted that time with Him, I was going to have to make the effort to get up when the alarm went off and show Him that I was serious about wanting that time with Him. So, this morning, I got up when the alarm went off - I didn't even hit the snooze button once!
Great start for the week! Tonight, I wrote an Inspired Thoughts post, which has suffered since I've gone back to my procrastination habits.
Tomorrow, I will make some requested updates to the Fearless website.
Wednesday, I will attempt to work on the Fellowship website.
Thursday, I will do some editing on my book and possibly work on a Fearless project.
A few weeks ago, I stumbled with all of this, but now I am getting back up and back into it all!
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Continuing the Actions
Wow, I feel like I got so much done last week, and now it's time for another Inspired Thoughts blog post. Well, tomorrow morning. It's already written, though, and in the system, just patiently waiting until tomorrow morning.
Didn't quite get my schedule finished last week, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I worked every night on the Fearless website and discovered it was a more time-consuming project than I had originally planned, so probably should have given it more than one night on my schedule.
Anyway, here's my new schedule for this week, just so you all can hold me accountable. I may not get everything done, but when I say you can hold me accountable, I mean that you can at least hold me accountable for making an attempt and actually working on something, and not procrastinating having to work on anything.
Monday -Work on Fearless website. Update final page, set up account so people can buy tickets online, tweak colors and everything so it looks good on mobile/phones/tablets as well as desktop/laptop.
Edit (Monday) - Didn't get some of the little things done, but did get the final page completed! Yay! Every page on the website has been completed and all the information is up-to-date! Can't really set up a Paypal account until I go to the bank anyway, so I will get that done tomorrow.
Edit (Tuesday) - Got the website all tweaked and even fixed a problem I didn't know was a problem (I thought the website just wasn't cooperating about something, but it was actually a fixable problem!!)
Tuesday - Work on/Update Fellowship website.
Wednesday - Work on editing my book.
Thursday - Busy
Friday - Write a short story
Saturday - Fearless
Sunday - Write Monday's Inspired Thoughts blog post.
Didn't quite get my schedule finished last week, but it wasn't for lack of trying. I worked every night on the Fearless website and discovered it was a more time-consuming project than I had originally planned, so probably should have given it more than one night on my schedule.
Anyway, here's my new schedule for this week, just so you all can hold me accountable. I may not get everything done, but when I say you can hold me accountable, I mean that you can at least hold me accountable for making an attempt and actually working on something, and not procrastinating having to work on anything.
Monday -
Edit (Monday) - Didn't get some of the little things done, but did get the final page completed! Yay! Every page on the website has been completed and all the information is up-to-date! Can't really set up a Paypal account until I go to the bank anyway, so I will get that done tomorrow.
Edit (Tuesday) - Got the website all tweaked and even fixed a problem I didn't know was a problem (I thought the website just wasn't cooperating about something, but it was actually a fixable problem!!)
Tuesday - Work on/Update Fellowship website.
Wednesday - Work on editing my book.
Thursday - Busy
Friday - Write a short story
Saturday - Fearless
Sunday - Write Monday's Inspired Thoughts blog post.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Still a success
Well, I didn't get as much work on the website done as I would have liked to today, which means the rest will have to be done tomorrow, and the other projects will, accordingly, get pushed back by a day.
However, this is NOT the procrastinator in me saying, "I'll do it tomorrow." Instead, I am listening to the tired voice inside me that is telling me it's time for bed. I may not have finished the project, but I did work on it as I intended, and for that, I still consider the work done today to be a success.
So, just so you all can hold me accountable... that makes the new schedule:
Tuesday - Continue work on Fearless website.
Wednesday - Work on/Update Fellowship website.
Thursday - Probably not available.
Friday - Work on editing some of my book.
Sat/Sun - Fun weekend.
Monday - Inspired Thoughts blog post AND write a short story.
However, this is NOT the procrastinator in me saying, "I'll do it tomorrow." Instead, I am listening to the tired voice inside me that is telling me it's time for bed. I may not have finished the project, but I did work on it as I intended, and for that, I still consider the work done today to be a success.
So, just so you all can hold me accountable... that makes the new schedule:
Tuesday - Continue work on Fearless website.
Wednesday - Work on/Update Fellowship website.
Thursday - Probably not available.
Friday - Work on editing some of my book.
Sat/Sun - Fun weekend.
Monday - Inspired Thoughts blog post AND write a short story.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
More action
I'm a dreamer. Always have been and probably always will be. There's nothing wrong with dreaming big, but the problem starts when that's all you do.
I could talk for hours about things I like to do, want to do, or plan to do. When it comes to actually doing them, though, I tend to be a procrastinator. Unfortunately, this also includes things that I feel God wants me to do. I say I'll do them "later" or "tomorrow." Well, doing them "tomorrow" turns into another "tomorrow," then another "tomorrow," then another, and so on, until I finally realize it's been weeks or even months since I originally planned on doing something. A great example of this would be the blog I started and only added one post, but had intended to update it weekly.
Well, I've decided that needs to stop, and it needs to stop right now. Talking about the things I'm going to do is fine, but I also need to start putting action to those plans.
A new blog post WILL be going up first thing Monday (tomorrow) morning (it's actually already written and scheduled, so yay for not putting that off again).
I WILL be working on the Fearless website on Monday.
I WILL be updating the Fellowship website on Tuesday.
I WILL be working on editing some of my book on Wednesday.
There is no more "I'll do it tomorrow."
While I think one part of the problem is general procrastinating, I think another part of the problem is that there are so many things I have on my plate that I would like to do, I start to feel overwhelmed at the idea and then nothing gets done. That's why I've only given myself one project per day.
I could talk for hours about things I like to do, want to do, or plan to do. When it comes to actually doing them, though, I tend to be a procrastinator. Unfortunately, this also includes things that I feel God wants me to do. I say I'll do them "later" or "tomorrow." Well, doing them "tomorrow" turns into another "tomorrow," then another "tomorrow," then another, and so on, until I finally realize it's been weeks or even months since I originally planned on doing something. A great example of this would be the blog I started and only added one post, but had intended to update it weekly.
Well, I've decided that needs to stop, and it needs to stop right now. Talking about the things I'm going to do is fine, but I also need to start putting action to those plans.
A new blog post WILL be going up first thing Monday (tomorrow) morning (it's actually already written and scheduled, so yay for not putting that off again).
I WILL be working on the Fearless website on Monday.
I WILL be updating the Fellowship website on Tuesday.
I WILL be working on editing some of my book on Wednesday.
There is no more "I'll do it tomorrow."
While I think one part of the problem is general procrastinating, I think another part of the problem is that there are so many things I have on my plate that I would like to do, I start to feel overwhelmed at the idea and then nothing gets done. That's why I've only given myself one project per day.
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